Creaks in the Inflammable Stairs

Creaks from left to right - Terry, Sefton, (Brother) Dave, and Gareth.

A band whose total aim in their musical existence is to discover the true meaning of creaks in the inflammable stairs. A combination of talent and lazy fucked-up emotions that create a musical soundscape of flippant vibrations. The band features a drummer called Terry, a guitarist with a passion for breaking strings and playing video games while so stoned he can hardly even see, another guitarist who likes playing in tune and drinking until he forgets his own name is David and usually forgets the other guitarist's name is Sefton, the good Doctor of nipples, a bass player who doesn't enjoy fighting but usually ends up in a bit of a biffo - it's not his fault - his name is Gareth and he does not know anyone called Ingrid.

They didn't all meet on a train, nor in a trendy cafe in Northbridge, but their destinies all guide them to the proper paths of musical torment. Strapped with nothing but a few lonely heartfelt chords of love and tortured souls they journeyed through to the discotheque of forgiveness. The four separate musical entities joined together and aspired to find the ultimate sound of nerve awakening acid vibrations. The story only just beginning to unfold, the four friendly boys still await their ultimate test of faith and spiritual happiness, to climb the tallest pub in Perth and scream their love for a newer, more improved type of salad sandwich which stands for goodness, cleanliness and all things pure. The Creaks in the Inflammable Stairs ask you the public to come and join them in their search for all things clean and pure in the utmost dirty sense of the word.

This is (as usual) an old interview done with the band in August `94 at Gareth's house before and after a rehearsal. Late in this interview I made the mistake of asking them to "describe their sound" only to be told what a bullshit question it was (like asking a painter to describe his work etc...). Well for sake of the reader they belt out a kind of guitar driven white noise sound (okay?). Anyway this interview started out with Gareth killing Sefton because he's supposed to organise a gig at the Orient (boy life is hard for an up and coming band - yes so far they've played one gig). Then I notice a picture of Gareth with DREADLOCKS on the wall (those family photos sure are sweet), so join us now as we probe the minds of this group of demented individuals:

Part One - Getting to know the boys

Gareth: I was sick of getting, like an itchy head and I felt like I had animals in my scalp and I couldn't get to them because my dreads were stopping my fingers.

Sefton: I've got animals in my scalp!

Pig: How did the band form?

Dave: I was walking down the Hay street mall one night and I saw, like, Gareth lying in the gutter covered in vomit and I felt sorry for him and I sat down next to him and we got talking and I found out he was a bass player.

Pig: You expect me to believe that?

Gareth: Do you expect me to believe that?

Pig: So what about you Sefton?

Sefton: Me? I was dragged in later on. I had nothing to do and these guys came up to me and said, do you want to form a band? and I said, hey, I can't play guitar, but I could learn. Here we are!

Pig: What's your favourite sayings?

Gareth: "You walk the walk, you talk the talk"

Sefton: "Feral dog!"

Gareth: No, my favourite quote is... I've got to think of it now... shut up!... "I don't agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to my death your right to say it."

Sefton: That's bullshit man! I've never heard you say that in my life!

Dave: You spin shit!

Gareth: That is some fucking French dude from 1792.

Sefton: Yeah, it might be - but you've never said that in your life.

Gareth: I have so!

Pig: So what are your ambitions?

Gareth: (looks at Sefton) To get a gig at the Orient.

Dave: (also looks at Sefton) I wouldn't mind that either.

Sefton: So would I!

Pig: Where would you go from there?

Sefton: Down hill.

Dave: The Shenton Park.

Sefton: No we're definitely going to be going down hill because SOMEONE IS GOING AWAY.

Pig: Who's going away?

Gareth: Oh yeah! I'm going away in November and December and then I'm going away in February for about a year and a half... We've got four months left as a band. (See Pig Meat #7 for full details of Gareth's agenda - Ed).

Sefton: That's a future isn't it!

Gareth: I want to play one gig every month.

Pig: So Sefton, who are you going to get to replace Gareth.

Gareth: They're going to break up.

Sefton: Are we?

Gareth: You're going to get a new name anyway.

Sefton: We ARE going to get a new name, yeah.

Pig: What's your new name going to be?

Sefton: I don't know.

Gareth: You can't get a new name yet - I'm still in the band. That's just rude if you ask me.

Pig: How long have you been together?

Gareth: 3 months.

Dave: 4 months.

Sefton: 3 months? Feels more like four years!

Gareth: 3 months + 4 + 4 years. What' does that equal? We need a manager! We need someone to organise gigs. We organised two and one fell through.

Pig: Which one was that?

Gareth: The Loft one - I don't know why (You don't want to know what Gareth thinks of the Loft).

We talk about new names... Dave wants Gretta Little... I'm not sure she'll leave the Rosemary Beads (his dream may come true, the Beads have split up now - Ed)... maybe Sefton's mum... Gareth ponders becoming a monk in the Tibetan mountains... growing his hair and cutting one of his toes off...

Rehearsal... Wall of noise... Sliding floor.

Part Two - The Ricky May Saga

We talk about the fact that Sefton was named after his Dad's construction company...haircuts...

Pig: Who were you named after?

Gareth: A football commentator apparently.

Dave: My parents decided to name their children after the Saint's Days... But like I was born after St. Patrick's Day... and they said, no we don't like Patrick.

Sefton: So we'll call you Dave!

Dave: No. St. Davids is the first of March, so that's close.

Pig: What will happen to the band when you leave, Gareth?

Gareth: I don't fucking care man, I'm going to Europe!

Pig: Have you all known about this?

Dave: Yeah...But I'll be continuing on in some form.

Pig: Are you going to record?

Gareth: Yeah, we have.

Sefton: One song.

Gareth: Sliding Floor... We're recording Sunday.

Pig: Do you think that because you've recorded a song and you've played it over and over again, that it helps you to play better?

Dave: When we play a new song , we play it really good. But then we get bored with it and play it crap...

Gareth howling at the full moon... Trying to arrange getting together to record on Sunday.

Sefton: (Turns to me) But the thing is, can you notice any influences?

Gareth: (turning to me also) - Do you listen to music?

Pig: (Squirming) Um... English guitar band influence maybe?

Gareth: Which one?... Which ONE? WHICH ONE?

Dave: I'd say it's more American.

Gareth: I'd say it's fucking Perth mate.

Pig: Well what do you listen to?

Gareth: My biggest influence would be...self gratification...

Pig: No, I mean bands...

Gareth: Oh... ripped jeans, vinyl and... corduroy.

Pig: (Turning to Sefton).

Sefton: What are my influences?... Mercury Rev

Gareth: I wanna be a VERONA cover band man!

Dave: Brian May.

Gareth: (Laughs).

Then we start talking about Ricky May

Sefton: My sister drew a picture of Ricky May. She drew this big circle and it had "Ricky May" written on the bottom! She was three years old.

Gareth: When did he die man? Which Appealathon was it? Didn't he die on stage?

Pig: What's on your turntables?

Sefton: Mercury Rev, Polvo, Pavement, Helium, Sonic Youth, Fugazi.

Terry: What about Nirvana?

The interview disintegrates from here, lots of laughter, but then Creaks are like that. Gareth starts asking me if I get good sex, hhm... Favourite TV shows... comparing hairy chests (not me of course)... digressing into losing weight... then I hazard the question -

Pig: How would you describe your sound?

Gareth: That's a FUCKED QUESTION!

Sefton: That's like saying... you've just done a bit of artwork... how would you describe it. Gareth: Our sound is like four guys playing musical instruments.

email Brother Dave [email protected] or check out his web page at http://users.wantree.com.au/~davidk/