Turn me on Dead Man

Paul McCartney. What do you think when you hear than famous name? I think that he's a silly twot. During his illustrious carrier as a musician he had his ups and downs; up as in the Beatles and downs as in his solo career. Why do you think his solo career was fucked? and his Beatles days were so great? It's because (you silly bastard) the guy died in 1965 in a car accident. At that stage the Beatles were peaking and didn't want to stop, so what did they do? Well they got a dupe in. What's a dupe? you may well ask. Well a dupe is a duplicate of the real person, or a dead person in this case. The Dupes have been taking over the Earth for some time, ever since the Americans began underground nuclear tests disturbing the aliens who dwell beneath our feet. But that's another story.

The Beatles were a crafty bunch high up in the illuminate. The remaining band members and their record company payed a splinter group of a subterranean organisation for their advanced technology. The microwave oven and television were sold to humans for a price, and they sold the Beatles a replacement Paul; an alien who looks and sounds just like him, but isn't.

This first came to attention during the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album. The Beatles were a bunch of jokers and thought it would be funny to give clues to their musical partners death. These clues can be found on the cover, inside gatefold and back cover of the album.

One clue is a bunch of cleverly placed flower set out in front of the drum kit. The band claims it represents a bass guitar, but if you look closer you will see it spells out "PAUL?". This is questioning Paul's actual existence. It's placed on a coffin and has only three strings representing the reaming Beatles. There's an open hand above Paul's head on this cover, a symbol of death. Another hand appears above Paul's head in the Magical Mystery Tour photo book. He's Dead!

The second clue is in the actual album title on the bass drum skin. If you hold a mirror half way down the word LONELY HEARTS in the title so it reflects back onto itself, you will see it says "1 ONE 1 X HE / DIE". The "/" points at Paul. One and one and one is three (as in 'Come Together') - Paul has been crossed out. He's Dead!

If you look at the inside sleeve of the album you will see the four Beatles (three actually and one Dupe). They are dressed up in a type of military costume and have various badges on their sleeves. Paul has one on his left sleeve that has O.P.D. embroiled onto it. This actually stands for "Officially Pronounced Dead". He's Dead!

The last clue is on the back cover where the Beatles are standing below the lyrics. All are facing the camera except Paul - meaning he's not there any more. Each Beatle is making a letter for the word "LOVE." Notice George's "L" made with the thumb, John's "V" made with the hands folded into his pants, and Ringo's "E" made by folding one hand into the other. Only Paul does not "make" a letter - He is the hole where the "O" should be. He's Dead!

The next two clues come from the Abbey road album cover. The four lined up and crossing the road is a representation of a funeral; John is the Minister all in white, Ringo is the undertaker, Paul is dead (of course, note that he isn't wearing shoes, his eyes are closed and he's out of step), and finally George is the Grave Digger. The VW Beatle behind the boys walking the cross walk has the number plate "28 IF" meaning Paul would have been 28 if he was still alive when the photo was taken. He's Dead!

There is also clues in their music. At the end of the song "I'm so tired" and the start of "Blackbird" on the White Album is a reversed message from John Lennon that says "Paul is dead, miss him, miss him, miss him". He's Dead!

On the song "Strawberry Fields Forever" John Lennon says "I buried Paul" at the end, after the music fades to complete silence, returns, and starts to fade out again. It's forward so you don't have to play your record backwards. He's Dead!

"Revolution 9" on the White album has a reversal that says "Turn me on, dead man" this is actually Revolution 9 backwards. This refers to Paul McCartney as being dead.

The Dupe Paul organised a press conference in 1969, he announce that the "Rumours of my death are greatly exaggerated". This is true of course, the Dupe Paul is still alive today. You may think all these events are co-incidences, you are most likely right. I still think it's the sub-terrarium aliens, how else would you explain his pathetic Post-Beatles carreer?